Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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