Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
