I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
