ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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