That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
