I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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