there's paper in my vomit.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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