McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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