Christians are straight up FREAKS
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
