Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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