I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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