I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
