none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize