AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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