I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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