Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
this just has baby written all over it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
