moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
