I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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