Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize