so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
