would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
