You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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