just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
