what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
