"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Everything about him screamed your future.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
