Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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