wat bout pragnant strippers??
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
