Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize