I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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