so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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