yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
