she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
