I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i out mim tonsoeep
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