she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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