I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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