I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You took a bar mat shot.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
