Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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