Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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