It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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