dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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