Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
