were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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