I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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