oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
