so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
