I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
