Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
