we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
