You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize