The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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