It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
