if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
