Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
