One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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