If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Your cock deserves a montage
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
