he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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