i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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