grandma shit on top of the toilet
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
