i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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