in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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